Sede Vacante

The light is on but no one is home.

Archive for smoking

30 days, no nicotine…

So far so good.  It’s been 30 days.  Still no cigarettes.  There were a few close calls though. I was standing outside a 7-11 and I start having that conversation with myself again.  It’s the conversation where one side is telling you that it’s ok, that you’ve won, that you’ve proven that you can quit and that there’s nothing stopping you from lighting one up.  It goes on to tell you that, to truly quit, one must be able to have just one more and still not get sucked in, that you need to test yourself to see if you really are free.  Then it starts getting desperate.  It tells you that no one will ever know.  No one will see.  Just one more.  It can hardly count against a lifetime of not smoking to have just one more.

That conversation again.  I was actually lined up already.  I bought a banana instead.

So if you see some nutbar walking down the street with a lit banana in his mouth, say hello numbnuts, welcome to my world.


The third day is over…

Other than a not-so unexpected weight gain of about a kilo over the weekend, things are quite manageable as far as the nicotine withdrawal goes.  Physically, other than an upset stomach over the weekend, there really wasn’t much drama to it.  What’s more difficult is breaking the sheer habit of lighting up, and not having something to do when you’ve got nothing to do.

If you watched Trainspotting, psychologically, I’m right about at the part where the dead baby starts crawling on the ceiling….

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Quitting smoking… yet again

In about two hours, I’m going to quit smoking.  Again.  I’ve done it before a few years back and stayed clean for more than 4 years.  But then again, since I’m smoking again (more than a pack a day since I landed in Vietnam), I guess it’s fair to say I’ve never really successfully quit.

I’ve got it all figured out.  I’m going to have to find something to replace this horrid habit.  I think I’ll use masturbation.  Every time I feel like having a smoke, I’ll just go right ahead and wank off.  That’s the ticket.

I smoke about 30 cigarettes a day at the moment.  I have a cigarette the moment I wake up, and before I go to bed; before, after, and during a meal, while I use the toilet, while I use my xbox, while I use my phone; while I work during the day, and while I relax at night; while I listen to music, and while I watch TV.

I’m never getting out of the door in the morning, am I?

Cigarettes I couldn't finish off before midnight...

Cigarettes I couldn't finish off before midnight...