In about two hours, I’m going to quit smoking. Again. I’ve done it before a few years back and stayed clean for more than 4 years. But then again, since I’m smoking again (more than a pack a day since I landed in Vietnam), I guess it’s fair to say I’ve never really successfully quit.
I’ve got it all figured out. I’m going to have to find something to replace this horrid habit. I think I’ll use masturbation. Every time I feel like having a smoke, I’ll just go right ahead and wank off. That’s the ticket.
I smoke about 30 cigarettes a day at the moment. I have a cigarette the moment I wake up, and before I go to bed; before, after, and during a meal, while I use the toilet, while I use my xbox, while I use my phone; while I work during the day, and while I relax at night; while I listen to music, and while I watch TV.
I’m never getting out of the door in the morning, am I?
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