Sede Vacante

The light is on but no one is home.

Sex and the MMORPG experience


With the ongoing race to make more and more sophisticated MMORPGs, I’m curious why no one has put any work on adding a gameplay system to handle sex. In World of Warcraft (probably the current king of the heap), players can craft weapons and armors, collect herbs and mineral ores to create potions and enhancements, swim underwater, fly through the air, even run a complete buy and sell business straight off the game’s auction house system. We can dance, we can flirt; why can’t we have carnal knowledge?

Ok, now back up, you pervs. I don’t mean actually turning the game into porn or some kind of rape-fest. That’s called the Internet. Try it sometime. What I’m talking about is a gameplay system that handles the wonderful intricacies of attraction, arousal, and *ahem* intimacy?

MMORPGs are really just the illegitimate child of the old tabletop RPGs with modern day computing technology. And even the tabletop community very early figured out that a truly immersive role-playing experience requires the ability to handle the most primal of drives. Just look at the Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge! It’s utterly brilliant. What else would you expect of geeks? After all, if there’s anything we’re really good at, it’s imagining sex. 😛

Start with a solid MMORPG

First thing’s first. I’m not saying we should just go build a game that revolves around sex. That wouldn’t be particularly engaging unless you’re a virgin, and the Japanese have been building those for years. What I’m looking for is a good solid game, with a very intelligent and interesting implementation of an in-game sex mechanic. Is that asking for too much?

In fact, if you ask me, Blizzard should just wait until the game is on its last legs (maybe 2-3 years down the road) and pump another few years of life into it by introducing a content patch that adds the sexual aspect to the game. Instant new players, guaranteed return of players who have quit long before, and essentially another year or two of life to the game.

This would work particularly well with WoW simply because the game already rocks oh so very hard. All aspects of gameplay are already pretty solid–looting works, itemization rocks, and the encounters are quite engaging.

So on with the changes!

The arousal bar

The Arousal Bar

Perhaps the most basic change you’ll notice is the addition of a new bar. Right below your health bar and your mana bar is a new arousal bar! This bar reflects how aroused you are at any given moment. More importantly, your level of arousal will determine just which sexual skills are available to you at any given moment.

Here are a few ideas:

  • Male avatars have a default stable arousal level of about 50%. That is, they are always ready to go. Ladies, please take note. Always.
  • Female avatars on the other hand have a default arousal level of zero.
  • Players gain arousal points over time. A male avatar, not using any sex skills, will reach 100% arousal in about 7 days. Female avatars, on the other hand will reach 100% arousal in about 30 days. Unless they are married, in which case it takes about 90 days. But let’s not go there.
  • HOWEVER, there are better and easier ways to get aroused!

Sexual types

Really, the best way to get aroused is to be around people who are your type. That is, people that just naturally make you feel hot. Here’s where it gets really tricky.

  • Essentially, when you create a character, you are asked to accomplish a rather quick 10 point questionnaire. This establishes what turns you on. It’s the usual kind of questionnaire you’d find on facebook or any of these stalker-networking sites.
  • As you level, key milestone quests will require you to accomplish several types of these psychological tests. The game learns more and more about what turns you on based on how you accomplish these tests.

Now that’s one half of the dance. The other half is the new sexual builds. As you level, you also get “allure” points. You can use this to define your *ahem* attraction build. Essentially, you get sexier as you level up. And this should be reflected graphically as well. So at level 1, you look like an average civilian of your race. At about level 40, you’re starting to look like a marine. At 70, you definitely look heroic.

Now these allure points can be used to acquire sexual traits. Some are raw physical traits like broader shoulders or a bigger rack. There are also more subtle traits like eloquence, soulful eyes and a sense of humor. Anyway, these are the same traits that the system tries to match up to the questions cues players have left behind in answering the profile questions.

In addition to charisma-related traits, you can also add to your hotness factor by dressing well. That means epics.

So while walking around town, someone walks up beside you and you find your arousal bar suddenly spiking. It means that this player has a sexual build that the game thinks is right up your alley! This gives you a chance to use your skills (and your imagination and verbal flirting ability) to see if you can get nature to go a little further. Need I say that if you use the right skills, you might just arouse your partner some more. If he or she chooses to reciprocate, and the other party does the right thing, it might just start a chain reaction of arousal. Get the drift?

Now there are other interesting factors we can put in. Like for example killing bosses in instances can give you a temporary spike in your arousal. Now imagine killing Illidan for the first time and realizing that everyone is at peak arousal. Wow. I’ve always wanted to have an orgy over the remains of a PVE boss. But that’s just me.

The sex skill tree

One of the most obvious changes will be some brand-spanking new skills. In fact, an entire skill tree corresponding to the moves and spells you can do to summon the beast with two backs. Like all other skills in the game, you gain more skills as you level. Perhaps more importantly, different classes have different erotic skills. To bring this idea further along, let’s just say that each race has an additional racial skill, and this new one is sexual in nature.

Of course, prior to level 40, all of your skills have to do with foreplay and goofing around. It’s at level 40 where you actually get the necessary skills to score. At levels 60 and 70, you get your pinnacle skills as befitting your class.

There are a few obvious mechanics we can try here. The first important mechanic is a resistance to advances. This works just like resists to all the other skills in the game. Which means flirting with someone who is waaay above your level probably will end up in disaster. Now you can go ahead and flirt with lowbies, but they won’t give you back as much arousal. So, 3’s dance with 3’s, and 8’s dance with 8’s.

The actual nasty

As I said earlier, I’m not interested in pornography. That’s not exactly true. What I really meant is that I’m not interested in turning WoW into porn. I’ve already got the rest of the ‘Net for that. Or, if you *must* mix them up, you can check out World of Whorecraft.

I’m not being a prude. I would definitely love to see actual nakedness in the game and some graphically accurate representation of the skills new sex skills. But I don’t think there’s any real reason to go gonzo. Tastefully done graphic sex is more than enough.

It’s called an imagination. If you don’t have one, you shouldn’t be playing these games in the first place.

The newest profession is the oldest one

You read that right. Since we’re already here, why not add a whole new profession? Depending on your specialization, you could be the type to create sex toys, love potions (Viagra?), or you could be the old fashioned, er… buff-giving sex worker. Of course, the self-benefit for those who work hard at their craft would be an ability to raise their own (or their party’s) arousal level.

Or perhaps we could have a match-making specialty? Perhaps these special types can artificially increase the compatibility of two other players.

Like all other crafting professions, the prostitute requires raw mats from other gathering professions. Metals and leather for toys, herbs and oils for potions, perhaps even shards for buffs.

Some sticky topics

Ok, since you’re all thinking about this, let’s talk about some interesting topics. Let’s start with sexual orientation. Yes, all players should be able to choose whether they are straight, gay, bi, or are into invertebrates. Bi’s get slightly less arousal than straight folks, but can get them from both genders. One interesting thing though is that straights need a bi partner in order to get into a threesome. Yes, why not threesomes?

And for those loving parents who are screaming that their kids shouldn’t be able to play my own version of this game… well, then don’t let them use your credit card. Problem solved.

Ok, the last deal is probably rape. Now I know many of you are PVP addicts like me who would love nothing more than to literally rape the opposition. Now I know it’s all relatively innocent fun, but there are limits. Rape isn’t really a funny topic. Period. I guess we’ll all just have to be happy with ganking and griefing in the nonsexual way.

It’s coming no matter what you do

Point is, there already ARE games that are sexual in nature. It’s just that gamers like us wouldn’t really be too interested in the long-term about such games. Because we want a really good game with a sexual component, and not a crappy game with nothing else but a sexual component. But that is changing because of the paradigm shift caused by World of Warcraft.

In terms of existing games, there’s Sociolotron, Red Light Center, not to mention XOXCity (think x-rated Super Mario).  Those are just the American titles.  There’s also 3Feel by a Korean company. Said company also markets a series of USB-connected *ahem* interface devices that let you really feel the game. How’s that for an “immersive” experience?  And this game is coming this summer: Naughy America: The Game.

So are you listening, Blizzard? You can hire me as a consultant. I’d love to help with the whole *ahem* design process including the motion capture. Rly.

Here are some screens of these adult games:

Naughty America
Naughty America: The Game

Red Light Center
Red Light Center

3Feel by Daum
3Feel by Daum Comms



  girlslikeittoo wrote @

hey a**hole: girls are not at a “default arousal level” of zero. If you knew anything about women, you wouldn’t have written this even as a joke. The screen shots of sex games you show are like most mainstream porn: they do not show the man touching the woman’s clit, meaning the sex is pleasuring him way more than her. Unless the arousal levels and sexual interactions in the online games are designed by a team that includes women, with some ACTUAL KNOWLEDGE of good sex, it’s just yet another form of media with inaccurate information about sex. You clearly need to play in the real world a little more.

  realist123 wrote @

I think his comment was meant as a generalization of woman as a whole to make his point funnier. If he was serious, I think he would have backed up his reasoning with real facts…and stuff. Like the one that states, in layman’s terms, that men get horny, faster, with less effort and more often than women do. It’s a fact and to deny it only makes you look like you’re:
A) being defensive (implying that you dislike having a lower libido than most men)
B) bragging (implying that more women should have a libido as high as yours)
C) or you just felt like arguing for the sake of arguing

My 2 cents…
Thank you for reading

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: