Ok. I’ve seen it all. I thought I’d seen it all after I saw the Real Doll, but this abso-fucking-lutely takes the cake. Yes, that’s a sex doll.

You know, I’d thought years ago that some sicko would make an anime real doll. I mean, it made perfect sense. I admit, anime and manga have more than their fair share of hand-drawn hotness. Just look at the work of Ken Akamatsu (Love Hina), and the sleek hotness of the Major in Masamune Shirow’s Ghost in the Shell. And let’s not forget the amazing wunderkinder at Square Enix who brought us the uber-sexed up version of Tifa Lockheart in FF7: Advent Children. But come on, guys. This one doesn’t look a day older than 12!

Now that I’ve settled down, come to think of it, I wouldn’t put it past the Japanese. I mean we all know some of the sick shit these guys are into. There are now, courtesy of the Japanese, words in the English language that should never have made it in. Words like bukkake, hentai, and omfg tentacle rape. Ok, that last one is in English. But I’m pretty damn sure no white, brown, black, red, or yellow person ever got glassy-eyed looking at a fucking octopus. Enough said.

Truth be told, I saw the adult-proportioned ones first, and tried to figure out how much longer I’d have to delay buying a new car if I ordered one of these things. Alright, stop looking at me like that. Fuck you, I’m sure you’d all want to be my friend if I had one of these things. Stay the fuck away. If ever I did buy one, I would have done it for the sheer artistry of the work. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Hear that, honey? I thought you said we should always try to appreciate art? Oh that? Oh, I was eating yoghurt and…

In any case, I was yanked out of my reverie when I saw the “petite” line. Aw, for fuck’s sake, guys, we’ve got to draw the line somewhere! I mean cephalopods and tubs full of bodily fluids are one thing. She doesn’t look a day over 13. I mean, WTF? It’s been 60 years, you can’t blame this on Hiroshima!

Jokes aside, I really do admire a lot about how the Japanese design things. There is an economy of line and elegance that makes Japanese design so identifiable.

However, I also think that pedophiles are the most hideous of today’s monsters. If anything would make me change my mind about capital punishment, it would be pedophiles.

In any case, the company that makes these things is called Orient Industry. And they only ship within Japan. I checked.

**hides**